Monday Morning Mehta 5/2/05
Edition # 117
May 2, 2005
MLB/Phillies
Phillies come off of a typically mediocre 3-3 week. After one month of the season the Phils find themselves in the basement of the NL East with not too much positive to talk about. Here's some quick hitters.
- Here's the perfect example of why, like I said, in the beginning of the season Ryan Howard should be on this team instead of Jose Offerman. Jim Thome has missed a few games here and there with back spasms and will probably miss some extended time in the next few days. Howard could be getting ML AB's right now.
- Tim Worrell has lost it.
- People know I get on Jimmy Rollins in this column, but I think he's one of the major problems on this team. He just doesn't get on base enough at the top of the lineup, hence the Phils just don't score runs consistently. Just look at all the games where Rollins gets on base, the Phillies win. It's like that with every teams 1 & 2 hitters. Getting on base at the top of the order is one of the most important things in baseball.
- Why can we beat Josh Beckett and John Smoltz but not John Patterson?
- This team needs to do something different. Three years of the same 'ol just isn't cutting it. Shake up the lineup, do something for pete's sake.
Around the League
- The Baltimore Orioles are the hottest team in baseball having won 8 in a row. The offense is awesome on this team and if their pitching can hold up, this team might just knock the Yankees or the Red Sox out of a playoff spot. I just don't know if Brian Roberts can keep up his Brady Andersonesque pace, and the starting pitching can hold up. The back of the bullpen is awesome though (Jorge Julio and BJ Ryan).
- The Chicago White Sox continue to beat up their divisional foes. I think the Sox are in for a rude awakening in the month of May when their schedule toughens.
- The 10-15 NY Yankees continue to delight Yankee haters around the country. I'm not going to start celebrating the demise of the Yankees until around at least the All-Star break.
- Houston Astros are in dire need of offense. Lance Berkman's return later this week might be the help they need.
- The Colorado Rockies have one road win all year (1-10). It was against the Phillies.
- Closers in baseball are getting killed. Among the bad starts is Danny Kolb who has been awful for the Braves, Armando Benitez got hurt and is out four months, Eric Gagne is still nursing an injury, Jason Isringhausen is on the DL, Guillermo Mota is on the DL, Mariano Rivera has two blown saves vs. the Red Sox, and Keith Foulke has 3 losses and a blown save.
NFL
Minicamps opened around football last week after the NFL draft, so there was a slight football buzz. My take on the Terrell Owens situation is that Owens will be at training camp on time. So all this hoopla will be forgotten about in August.
As far as Freddie Mitchell, who was "told to not attend" the Eagles minicamp, I say good riddance. I'm going to have a good time rooting against him wherever he plays next. Denver and Tampa Bay are the interested parties but I doubt the Eagles will get anything much better than a 5th (would be great) or a 6th (more likely) round pick. Rod Gardner whose also available, can't even get a 4th rounder, I doubt Mitchell can do any better.
Golf
Not exactly the most riveting tournament, but the Zurich Classic of New Orleans was sort of the "coming out" party for golfer to be extraordinaire Arjun Atwal, of India! Atwal who has been playing very well lately, finished tied for 5th. Tiger Woods was seen shaking in his boots as he watched Atwal.
Tim Petrovic (no relation to Drazen) won the tournament in a playoff versus James Driscoll. This weekend is the Wachovia Championships or the Return of Tiger. Woods plays in his first tournament since the Masters, as he prepares for the US Open in 6 weeks. Should be an interesting tourney as Mickleson, Woods and Singh are scheduled to play.
NBA - Derreck Sura
EAST
Washington v Chicago - Bulls lead 2-1. This series is going to be decided by what kind of defense the Wizards play. If they are able to consistently execute some sort of team oriented defensive scheme, Washington has too much scoring for Chicago to match. The second part of what the Wiz need to do is play smarter on offense. I'm all for getting the ball up and down the court, but Gilbert Arenas needs to understand that the team plays better when he actively tries to get his teammates involved. The Bulls just need to keep playing their hard nosed defense, and they should be fine. The big men in this series have been basically canceling each other out. The only real difference maker inside in Chicago's Tyson Chandler, and if he is able to stay out of foul trouble, the Bulls will be in great shape.
Prediction update - I originally picked Washington in 6, but after watching the games, I think Chicago is the more well rounded team. If the Wiz are able to win tonight, I see this series going the full 7.
Indiana v Boston - Tied 2-2. The Pacers blew a golden opportunity in game 4 with Antoine Walker suspended to more or less finish off the Celtics. Now, as the series heads back to Beantown for game 5, the Celtics have to be feeling pretty good about themselves. Boston coach Doc Rivers had been getting soundly out coached, but by putting Gary Payton on Reggie Miller Saturday, he made the adjustment that could tilt the series in favor of the C's. For Indiana, it's simple, when they shoot the ball reasonably well (41.4% in G2 & 47.1% in G3), they win. When they don't (34.8% in G1 & 26.9% in G4), they lose. The Pacers must keep the tempo under control at all times, but especially when Boston goes to their bench. In their two wins Indiana has held the Celtics to under 40% shooting. Conversely, Boston has shot above 51% from the field and scored over 100 points in their two wins.
Prediction update - Pacers in 6 still has a chance to happen, but this series looks like it's going to go 7 now in my opinion.
Philadelphia v Detroit - Pistons lead 3-1. Is it just me, or does this Detroit team approach games exactly the same way as the Shaq & Kobe Lakers used to? I don't see the Pistons giving their best effort consistently until the Eastern Conference Finals. As for the Sixers, they competed admirably at home, but just don't have enough to truly challenge Detroit. I want to be the first person to go on record with, "Philly firing coach Jim O'Brien would be a major mistake." I often wonder what these people calling for his head think the Sixers are capable of as presently constituted? Does a different coach mean Philly some how wins the title? I think not. Obie got as much out of that roster as anyone could have. With the way Allen Iverson has played in this series, I think it's safe to say that he's had the best year of his career, hands down. Kyle Korver blossomed into a serviceable role player. Rookie Andre Iguodala improved over the course of the season. Even the team defense came around eventually. I mean, what more is Obie supposed to do exactly? He deserves another year, and a chance to have AI and Chris Webber together for an entire training camp.
Prediction update - Pistons in 5 is looking to be right on the money.
New Jersey v Miami - Heat win 4-0. If Nets' GM Rod Thorn is able to sign either Stromile Swift or Shareef Abdur-Rahim this off season, while keeping Jason Kidd happy to be in the swamp lands, NJ will be a very formidable club next season. Miami now gets a week off to rest up for round two. That should be plenty of time for Shaquille O'Neal's right thigh injury to heal up.
Prediction update - Heat in 6 was a little off, but hey, they still won.
WEST
Houston v Dallas - Tied 2-2. The home team has yet to win a game in what has been the most exciting series thus far in the playoffs. It's hard to believe the Mavericks are even in this series with Dirk Nowitzki shooting 37.1% from the field (45.9% in the regular season). Dallas coach Avery "Toothy" (as coined by my wife) Johnson showed his inexperience on the sidelines in the first two games of this series. I don't think there's any way the Mavs lose both of those games if Don Nelson is still in charge. That said, Toothy made two key adjustments that brought Dallas back. First, he starting using small lineups for extended minutes. This accomplished two things, it took advantage of the Mavs' depth at the swing positions, and put Yao Ming at a disadvantage on the defensive end by forcing him to match up with more mobile players (which has led to foul trouble). The second adjustment Avery made was to let Tracy McGrady get his, and concentrate on shutting down the Rockets' role players. T-Mac has been playing some of the best ball I've ever seem from him (31.5 ppg, 7 rpg, 6.8 apg in the playoffs), totally controlling play, and assuming the leadership role for his team. That's why the key for Houston is either Bob Sura, David Wesley, Mike James, or Jon Barry stepping up nightly. It would also help the Rockets if Yao could avoid foul problems.
Prediction update - I'm still feeling Dallas in 7, but tonight's game 5 is going to HUGE for both squads, and will probably decide who wins the series.
Denver v San Antonio - Spurs lead 2-1. The Nuggets blew their chance on Saturday when they gave home court advantage back to the Spurs on a night when Tim Duncan only played 5 minutes in the first half due to foul trouble and shot 5-19 for the game. If Denver couldn't seize that opportunity, I don't see how they are going to win this series. SA coach Gregg Popovich moving Manu Ginobili to the 6th man role, eliminating the mismatch Nugs' 6th man Earl Boykins usually creates when he enters the game, has proved to be a great adjustment. Denver has no answers Manu anyway, and it certainly isn't Boykins. Carmelo Anthony has struggled against Bruce Bowen's D, but the rest of the Nugs' front court has played well. Andre Miller will have to abuse Tony Parker like he did in game 1 for Denver to have any chance of making this a competitive series.
Prediction update - The Spurs are going to win eventually, but the series isn't going 7 games like I said. If SA wins tonight, it's over in 5.
Memphis v Phoenix - Suns win 4-0. For all the great coaching Mike Fratello did to get the Grizzlies into the playoffs, the Czar never realized that you can't have success trying to out run Phoenix. Memphis is going lose some players this summer, and certainly will look different next year. The Suns' starters play so many minutes that a week off will do them a world of good.
Prediction update - Phoenix in 5 was close.
Sacramento v Seattle - Sonics lead 3-1. Ever since game 1, this series has been entertaining to watch, and has even featured the coaches going back forth in the media over the officiating. Seattle is just a more cohesive unit then the Kings are right now. Sacto's roster is 100% healthy for the first time all season, which has forced coach Rick Adelman to experiment with different lineups in the playoffs, which is never a good thing. Even though the Sonics are ahead in this series, the play of Rashard Lewis has to be of concern to them as they move forward into round two. Rashard is shooting 36.2% from the floor in the playoffs (down from 46.2% during the season), and 20% from three point range (down from 40%). For Seattle to have any chance against San Antonio, Lewis is going to have to regain his All-Star form.
Prediction update - The Sonics in 7 is a long shot now, but not impossible.
NHL Week in Review By: Ed Wasser
- Last week 'Outside The Lines' on ESPN did a profile on Sydney Crosby who is the most highly touted junior hockey player since Eric Lindros. Crosby's future is currently in doubt because he was a mortal lock to be the number 1 player taken in the 2005 NHL draft but now that there's no draft God only knows what will happen to him. But all you conspiracy theorists out there take a listen to this. One of the guests on 'Outside The Lines' was Toronto Sun hockey columnist Pierre LeBrun and in response to the question what will happen with the NHL draft he said he had it on good authority that when a new CBA is agreed upon the NHL plans to put the teams with the worst records over the last 5 years into a lottery to determine the draft order. Hmmmmmmmm......who's the NHL commissioner again? Oh that's right, it's Gary Bettman who studied at the foot of David Stern. Don't forget that David Stern is the guy who invented the entire draft lottery concept so he could rig it and give the Knicks Patrick Ewing. Now what teams in the NHL have had terrible records over the last 5 years? Well we have the Los Angeles Kings, we have the New York Rangers, we have...actually after those two teams it doesn't matter who else is there. Wanna hear the most crazy part? One of the teams with the best chances of landing Crosby would be Atlanta but Thrashers GM Don Waddell said having Crosby in New York would be the best thing for the league. Let's see if Bettman learned anything from David Stern and Sydney Crosby winds up in New York or Los Angeles. PS...when I say 'winds up in New York' I mean next year, of course he'll end up in New York when he's old and past his prime...this is the NHL and that's a league rule.
- Seldom has an athlete come along that just doesn't get it like Barry Bonds. Pete Rose was up there, so was Ryan Leaf, but Barry Bonds is in a class by himself. Need proof? Check out www.barrybonds.com
- True genius is seldom understood in it's own time. It's absolutely true but I think we need to get a head start on this one. There is a boxing ring announcer who generally works for the low level Sunshine Boxing Promotions Inc. who has the name Discombobulating Jones. That's right, his first name is Discombobulating. That was the name his parents gave him, he didn't change it to Discombobulating. He says his friends just call him Bob. Here's why the name Discombobulating is pure genius. Now we've all thought of naming one of our children Discombobulate, I mean who hasn't, but giving the name Discombobulating...with the ING gives the name a sense of motion, a sense of action. We would have all stopped with just naming our child Discombobulate...no ING, no action. It's all about the details. It's a superb handle.
- Have you ever read about a crime that pisses you off so much that you say to yourself "God I wish I was the sentencing judge on that case!!!" The most recent example of that for me is when I read about Pistons fan Dennis Pauley throwing a quarter at Allen Iverson and nailing him in the face. It was so stupid on so many levels. I won't even bring up the past fan/player ugliness in Detroit. First of all, Dennis Pauley is 31 years old. I might have MAYBE considered leniency if he was like 17 years old. No way at 31 years old. Second of all, I thinks it's fair to say the vast majority of this readership has enjoyed a cocktail or two in their day. But as drunk as I've ever been in my entire life...I'm talking about hooking up with Whoopi Goldberg drunk...I've never thought of firing a quarter at somebody's head at half the speed of sound. So here's a portion of the actual phony transcript from the courtroom of the Honorable Ed Wasser (using the voice of Principle Ed Rooney from 'Ferris Bueller's Day Off') "well, well, well Mr. Paulie...how about a nice year in the county clink, under my close personal supervision of course".
- MMM's first ever classified ad.....For Sale : a 4 year old horse, only been ridden occasionally at very slow speeds. Any reasonable offer considered.
Clemente raced last Tuesday. He showed nothing, an embarrassing performance by the horse without a heart. He finished 9th out 10. After the race the trainer asked jockey David Mello what the horse's problem is and he summed up Clemente in one sentence, "as soon as some mud gets kicked in his face he just quits". Not exactly the heart of a champion. So the next step is to get him racing on a turf course. Hey, no dirt to get kicked in his face!! If Clemente fails on grass...well... if I was you I'd keep an eye on any steaks I ordered because your steak may still have marks where David Mello was hitting it.
May 2, 2005
MLB/Phillies
Phillies come off of a typically mediocre 3-3 week. After one month of the season the Phils find themselves in the basement of the NL East with not too much positive to talk about. Here's some quick hitters.
- Here's the perfect example of why, like I said, in the beginning of the season Ryan Howard should be on this team instead of Jose Offerman. Jim Thome has missed a few games here and there with back spasms and will probably miss some extended time in the next few days. Howard could be getting ML AB's right now.
- Tim Worrell has lost it.
- People know I get on Jimmy Rollins in this column, but I think he's one of the major problems on this team. He just doesn't get on base enough at the top of the lineup, hence the Phils just don't score runs consistently. Just look at all the games where Rollins gets on base, the Phillies win. It's like that with every teams 1 & 2 hitters. Getting on base at the top of the order is one of the most important things in baseball.
- Why can we beat Josh Beckett and John Smoltz but not John Patterson?
- This team needs to do something different. Three years of the same 'ol just isn't cutting it. Shake up the lineup, do something for pete's sake.
Around the League
- The Baltimore Orioles are the hottest team in baseball having won 8 in a row. The offense is awesome on this team and if their pitching can hold up, this team might just knock the Yankees or the Red Sox out of a playoff spot. I just don't know if Brian Roberts can keep up his Brady Andersonesque pace, and the starting pitching can hold up. The back of the bullpen is awesome though (Jorge Julio and BJ Ryan).
- The Chicago White Sox continue to beat up their divisional foes. I think the Sox are in for a rude awakening in the month of May when their schedule toughens.
- The 10-15 NY Yankees continue to delight Yankee haters around the country. I'm not going to start celebrating the demise of the Yankees until around at least the All-Star break.
- Houston Astros are in dire need of offense. Lance Berkman's return later this week might be the help they need.
- The Colorado Rockies have one road win all year (1-10). It was against the Phillies.
- Closers in baseball are getting killed. Among the bad starts is Danny Kolb who has been awful for the Braves, Armando Benitez got hurt and is out four months, Eric Gagne is still nursing an injury, Jason Isringhausen is on the DL, Guillermo Mota is on the DL, Mariano Rivera has two blown saves vs. the Red Sox, and Keith Foulke has 3 losses and a blown save.
NFL
Minicamps opened around football last week after the NFL draft, so there was a slight football buzz. My take on the Terrell Owens situation is that Owens will be at training camp on time. So all this hoopla will be forgotten about in August.
As far as Freddie Mitchell, who was "told to not attend" the Eagles minicamp, I say good riddance. I'm going to have a good time rooting against him wherever he plays next. Denver and Tampa Bay are the interested parties but I doubt the Eagles will get anything much better than a 5th (would be great) or a 6th (more likely) round pick. Rod Gardner whose also available, can't even get a 4th rounder, I doubt Mitchell can do any better.
Golf
Not exactly the most riveting tournament, but the Zurich Classic of New Orleans was sort of the "coming out" party for golfer to be extraordinaire Arjun Atwal, of India! Atwal who has been playing very well lately, finished tied for 5th. Tiger Woods was seen shaking in his boots as he watched Atwal.
Tim Petrovic (no relation to Drazen) won the tournament in a playoff versus James Driscoll. This weekend is the Wachovia Championships or the Return of Tiger. Woods plays in his first tournament since the Masters, as he prepares for the US Open in 6 weeks. Should be an interesting tourney as Mickleson, Woods and Singh are scheduled to play.
NBA - Derreck Sura
EAST
Washington v Chicago - Bulls lead 2-1. This series is going to be decided by what kind of defense the Wizards play. If they are able to consistently execute some sort of team oriented defensive scheme, Washington has too much scoring for Chicago to match. The second part of what the Wiz need to do is play smarter on offense. I'm all for getting the ball up and down the court, but Gilbert Arenas needs to understand that the team plays better when he actively tries to get his teammates involved. The Bulls just need to keep playing their hard nosed defense, and they should be fine. The big men in this series have been basically canceling each other out. The only real difference maker inside in Chicago's Tyson Chandler, and if he is able to stay out of foul trouble, the Bulls will be in great shape.
Prediction update - I originally picked Washington in 6, but after watching the games, I think Chicago is the more well rounded team. If the Wiz are able to win tonight, I see this series going the full 7.
Indiana v Boston - Tied 2-2. The Pacers blew a golden opportunity in game 4 with Antoine Walker suspended to more or less finish off the Celtics. Now, as the series heads back to Beantown for game 5, the Celtics have to be feeling pretty good about themselves. Boston coach Doc Rivers had been getting soundly out coached, but by putting Gary Payton on Reggie Miller Saturday, he made the adjustment that could tilt the series in favor of the C's. For Indiana, it's simple, when they shoot the ball reasonably well (41.4% in G2 & 47.1% in G3), they win. When they don't (34.8% in G1 & 26.9% in G4), they lose. The Pacers must keep the tempo under control at all times, but especially when Boston goes to their bench. In their two wins Indiana has held the Celtics to under 40% shooting. Conversely, Boston has shot above 51% from the field and scored over 100 points in their two wins.
Prediction update - Pacers in 6 still has a chance to happen, but this series looks like it's going to go 7 now in my opinion.
Philadelphia v Detroit - Pistons lead 3-1. Is it just me, or does this Detroit team approach games exactly the same way as the Shaq & Kobe Lakers used to? I don't see the Pistons giving their best effort consistently until the Eastern Conference Finals. As for the Sixers, they competed admirably at home, but just don't have enough to truly challenge Detroit. I want to be the first person to go on record with, "Philly firing coach Jim O'Brien would be a major mistake." I often wonder what these people calling for his head think the Sixers are capable of as presently constituted? Does a different coach mean Philly some how wins the title? I think not. Obie got as much out of that roster as anyone could have. With the way Allen Iverson has played in this series, I think it's safe to say that he's had the best year of his career, hands down. Kyle Korver blossomed into a serviceable role player. Rookie Andre Iguodala improved over the course of the season. Even the team defense came around eventually. I mean, what more is Obie supposed to do exactly? He deserves another year, and a chance to have AI and Chris Webber together for an entire training camp.
Prediction update - Pistons in 5 is looking to be right on the money.
New Jersey v Miami - Heat win 4-0. If Nets' GM Rod Thorn is able to sign either Stromile Swift or Shareef Abdur-Rahim this off season, while keeping Jason Kidd happy to be in the swamp lands, NJ will be a very formidable club next season. Miami now gets a week off to rest up for round two. That should be plenty of time for Shaquille O'Neal's right thigh injury to heal up.
Prediction update - Heat in 6 was a little off, but hey, they still won.
WEST
Houston v Dallas - Tied 2-2. The home team has yet to win a game in what has been the most exciting series thus far in the playoffs. It's hard to believe the Mavericks are even in this series with Dirk Nowitzki shooting 37.1% from the field (45.9% in the regular season). Dallas coach Avery "Toothy" (as coined by my wife) Johnson showed his inexperience on the sidelines in the first two games of this series. I don't think there's any way the Mavs lose both of those games if Don Nelson is still in charge. That said, Toothy made two key adjustments that brought Dallas back. First, he starting using small lineups for extended minutes. This accomplished two things, it took advantage of the Mavs' depth at the swing positions, and put Yao Ming at a disadvantage on the defensive end by forcing him to match up with more mobile players (which has led to foul trouble). The second adjustment Avery made was to let Tracy McGrady get his, and concentrate on shutting down the Rockets' role players. T-Mac has been playing some of the best ball I've ever seem from him (31.5 ppg, 7 rpg, 6.8 apg in the playoffs), totally controlling play, and assuming the leadership role for his team. That's why the key for Houston is either Bob Sura, David Wesley, Mike James, or Jon Barry stepping up nightly. It would also help the Rockets if Yao could avoid foul problems.
Prediction update - I'm still feeling Dallas in 7, but tonight's game 5 is going to HUGE for both squads, and will probably decide who wins the series.
Denver v San Antonio - Spurs lead 2-1. The Nuggets blew their chance on Saturday when they gave home court advantage back to the Spurs on a night when Tim Duncan only played 5 minutes in the first half due to foul trouble and shot 5-19 for the game. If Denver couldn't seize that opportunity, I don't see how they are going to win this series. SA coach Gregg Popovich moving Manu Ginobili to the 6th man role, eliminating the mismatch Nugs' 6th man Earl Boykins usually creates when he enters the game, has proved to be a great adjustment. Denver has no answers Manu anyway, and it certainly isn't Boykins. Carmelo Anthony has struggled against Bruce Bowen's D, but the rest of the Nugs' front court has played well. Andre Miller will have to abuse Tony Parker like he did in game 1 for Denver to have any chance of making this a competitive series.
Prediction update - The Spurs are going to win eventually, but the series isn't going 7 games like I said. If SA wins tonight, it's over in 5.
Memphis v Phoenix - Suns win 4-0. For all the great coaching Mike Fratello did to get the Grizzlies into the playoffs, the Czar never realized that you can't have success trying to out run Phoenix. Memphis is going lose some players this summer, and certainly will look different next year. The Suns' starters play so many minutes that a week off will do them a world of good.
Prediction update - Phoenix in 5 was close.
Sacramento v Seattle - Sonics lead 3-1. Ever since game 1, this series has been entertaining to watch, and has even featured the coaches going back forth in the media over the officiating. Seattle is just a more cohesive unit then the Kings are right now. Sacto's roster is 100% healthy for the first time all season, which has forced coach Rick Adelman to experiment with different lineups in the playoffs, which is never a good thing. Even though the Sonics are ahead in this series, the play of Rashard Lewis has to be of concern to them as they move forward into round two. Rashard is shooting 36.2% from the floor in the playoffs (down from 46.2% during the season), and 20% from three point range (down from 40%). For Seattle to have any chance against San Antonio, Lewis is going to have to regain his All-Star form.
Prediction update - The Sonics in 7 is a long shot now, but not impossible.
NHL Week in Review By: Ed Wasser
- Last week 'Outside The Lines' on ESPN did a profile on Sydney Crosby who is the most highly touted junior hockey player since Eric Lindros. Crosby's future is currently in doubt because he was a mortal lock to be the number 1 player taken in the 2005 NHL draft but now that there's no draft God only knows what will happen to him. But all you conspiracy theorists out there take a listen to this. One of the guests on 'Outside The Lines' was Toronto Sun hockey columnist Pierre LeBrun and in response to the question what will happen with the NHL draft he said he had it on good authority that when a new CBA is agreed upon the NHL plans to put the teams with the worst records over the last 5 years into a lottery to determine the draft order. Hmmmmmmmm......who's the NHL commissioner again? Oh that's right, it's Gary Bettman who studied at the foot of David Stern. Don't forget that David Stern is the guy who invented the entire draft lottery concept so he could rig it and give the Knicks Patrick Ewing. Now what teams in the NHL have had terrible records over the last 5 years? Well we have the Los Angeles Kings, we have the New York Rangers, we have...actually after those two teams it doesn't matter who else is there. Wanna hear the most crazy part? One of the teams with the best chances of landing Crosby would be Atlanta but Thrashers GM Don Waddell said having Crosby in New York would be the best thing for the league. Let's see if Bettman learned anything from David Stern and Sydney Crosby winds up in New York or Los Angeles. PS...when I say 'winds up in New York' I mean next year, of course he'll end up in New York when he's old and past his prime...this is the NHL and that's a league rule.
- Seldom has an athlete come along that just doesn't get it like Barry Bonds. Pete Rose was up there, so was Ryan Leaf, but Barry Bonds is in a class by himself. Need proof? Check out www.barrybonds.com
- True genius is seldom understood in it's own time. It's absolutely true but I think we need to get a head start on this one. There is a boxing ring announcer who generally works for the low level Sunshine Boxing Promotions Inc. who has the name Discombobulating Jones. That's right, his first name is Discombobulating. That was the name his parents gave him, he didn't change it to Discombobulating. He says his friends just call him Bob. Here's why the name Discombobulating is pure genius. Now we've all thought of naming one of our children Discombobulate, I mean who hasn't, but giving the name Discombobulating...with the ING gives the name a sense of motion, a sense of action. We would have all stopped with just naming our child Discombobulate...no ING, no action. It's all about the details. It's a superb handle.
- Have you ever read about a crime that pisses you off so much that you say to yourself "God I wish I was the sentencing judge on that case!!!" The most recent example of that for me is when I read about Pistons fan Dennis Pauley throwing a quarter at Allen Iverson and nailing him in the face. It was so stupid on so many levels. I won't even bring up the past fan/player ugliness in Detroit. First of all, Dennis Pauley is 31 years old. I might have MAYBE considered leniency if he was like 17 years old. No way at 31 years old. Second of all, I thinks it's fair to say the vast majority of this readership has enjoyed a cocktail or two in their day. But as drunk as I've ever been in my entire life...I'm talking about hooking up with Whoopi Goldberg drunk...I've never thought of firing a quarter at somebody's head at half the speed of sound. So here's a portion of the actual phony transcript from the courtroom of the Honorable Ed Wasser (using the voice of Principle Ed Rooney from 'Ferris Bueller's Day Off') "well, well, well Mr. Paulie...how about a nice year in the county clink, under my close personal supervision of course".
- MMM's first ever classified ad.....For Sale : a 4 year old horse, only been ridden occasionally at very slow speeds. Any reasonable offer considered.
Clemente raced last Tuesday. He showed nothing, an embarrassing performance by the horse without a heart. He finished 9th out 10. After the race the trainer asked jockey David Mello what the horse's problem is and he summed up Clemente in one sentence, "as soon as some mud gets kicked in his face he just quits". Not exactly the heart of a champion. So the next step is to get him racing on a turf course. Hey, no dirt to get kicked in his face!! If Clemente fails on grass...well... if I was you I'd keep an eye on any steaks I ordered because your steak may still have marks where David Mello was hitting it.
posted by Monday Morning Mehta at 10:09 AM
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